American Beatuy Belly Flop/ I Love when newbies get it.

This past class was very disappointing to me. I really wanted to knock our American Beauty scene out of the park, and I felt that Andrew and I had the potential to really create something special on screen. I don't think we were terrible, but we were no where as good as we could have been, or even as good as where we were when we first read it down and did the shared history exercise. I just felt stuck in the same objectives and that they weren't taking me anywhere. I have been under pressure before, in fact I have been put under way worse pressure, but I just felt limited. Maybe I wasn't really listening to him--- because the work felt honest ---but it just felt as though it was sort of stuck in a glue mouse trap. I also think it helped that we were stuck together, so at least we were on the same page when it came to our issues. I know this is a wall that can pop up from time to time, and I also suppose it is up to the actor himself to figure out their own way around it. Had this happened to me, say a year, or even just a few months ago, I would have been extremely depressed and probably would have needed a week to get over feeling incompetent and ridiculous. However, as I have grown in experience and maturity level I think I am beginning to really learn from my mistakes and failures as opposed to just feeling hurt. This thick skin is, needless to say, vital.



BUT: I do concede that many of the issues we were having weren't our fault, and we had a lot to fight against that wouldn't normally be as big of an issue as it proved to be in the classroom setting. First the sub zero room temperature (what the hell was that about) Seriously, we walked into our normal sound stage and it was, no joke, probably like 45 degrees. So we had to move to the motion capture room which was not ideal for the different shots our scene called for. blah blah --I'm not trying to make excuses, but they are important to acknowledge I think in trying to unpack how things could have been better for us.





While I sat down feeling less than stellar, I have to say, I was very impressed with a one of the other scene and one particular performance. Watching the Wall Street scene it was absolutely stunning to see how far Sam, a production student as come. Something simply clicked with him during the shoot. I could not get the smile off my face as beat to beat he kept growing and doing interesting things. It was just so exciting to watch. All of sudden my lack of energy and enthusiasm for the moment returned and I desperately wanted to jump up and do our scene again. He was so present, so honest, it was electric. Probably even more so because he sort of had a personal acting break through. I feel like I rarely get to see these moments anymore since I have so many friends who are, at least in our little minds, veterans. While they are impressive and have their own great moments, nothing beats these very first moments of it truly clicking for new actors. I feel like I will be forever chasing that honesty that it so green and beautiful from new comers. Let's hope Thelma and Louise goes better for me yes? I have a strong feeling I will be doing the scene with an actor using Italian on me...